Wednesday, July 9, 2014


“There’s a trick to the 'graceful exit.' It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage, or a relationship is over — and let it go. It means leaving what’s over without denying its validity or its past importance to our lives. It involves a sense of future, a belief that every exit line is an entry, that we are moving up, rather than out.”
- Ellen Goodman

Thank you for reminding me of this quote Kitten

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

A few faves....

"Sleep is still most perfect…when it is shared with a beloved. The warmth, the security and peace of soul, the utter comfort from the touch of the other, knits the sleep, so that it takes the body and soul completely in its healing."
- D.H. Lawrence

“ It seems to me we can never give up longing and wishing while we are thoroughly alive. There are certain things we feel to be beautiful and good, and we must hunger after them. ” — George Eliot

"If you faint in the day of adversity, Your strength is small."- Proverbs 24:10 (NKJV)

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Been too long.

So much has happened.

The last six months have been so eventful. So many changes have taken place. I honestly don't know where to start from.
I miss writing. I had to stop writing. I want to get back to writing. When you write honestly, you give a gift to yourself that will change your life for the better.

I am a different person. I have new stories, new experiences, new challenges to share.

Wedding planning seems such a bore to me. I am more excited about the marriage itself. Why can't the ceremony be skipped?

I believe in tiny answered prayers. The tiny prayers like God let there be light right now so I can sleep well tonight. He listens.

Everyone is growing. We are all getting older and most importantly happier and more content. I am thankful

How are you?

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Dance For You- Beyonce

This is one of my favorite Beyonce songs that was released last year. (I still wonder why it never made it to the '4' album)

Anyhoooo (I literally said that aloud in Franklin from My wife and Kids' voice....smh), I wonder how many relationships and marriages this video has saved or spiced up.


I need dance classes. I have plans of re-enacting this video in December... well maybe just in front of my mirror. That's all I am saying.

Enjoy it.

P:s- Who knew coming up with a wedding budget was such a task?
Pp:s- Is there anything in infusing Black as one of the wedding colors?
Ppp:s- I am asking all these for a friend.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

On Independence and Submission

(A discussion on a forum I had this week inspired this post)

“I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, His pleasure, His desire, His life, His work, His sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don’t mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don’t mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling, be all that I am capable of doing, but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at His time, His bidding.”

-Anais Nin

As a young girl, I grew up with the knowledge that society looked down on women and as such, if I wanted to be respected, I had to be independent, tough, hold down my own and not give in to anyone's controlling ways. I ended up in a male-dominated career field and I became tougher, had to work extra hard to let my voice be heard. I became a strong, intelligent, focused and determined, courageous, ambitious, and outspoken woman who realised she also had a choice. I could be independent and submissive at the same time. I explored it and I love it.

Someone once said:
It requires a knowledge and understanding of self, am embracing of your compulsions, which might not be acceptable in mainstream society. It requires that you know who you are, what you want, and be willing to go beyond the limits and constraints society places on you.

I know I am a leader, I take charge and I have a commanding presence. Oh how I enjoy the power and control. I am outspoken, and everyone recognizes that and respects it. However, I want to submit to men of equal or greater power. I feel comfortable giving over the power to someone else and taking the secondary, submissive role.

I want to know that somewhere, someone has ultimate control over me, even when I’m at the highest leadership position at work making important decisions, controlling a big work budget, tweeting my free time away, or just generally hanging out with the girls. The control should be his, and everything that I am belongs to him and exists for his use according to his wants and needs. Scary revelation? I don't care. Ephesians 5:22 backs me up.

Now before the feminist movement comes after me, note there is a difference. I am not oppressed, no, I choose to be both Independent and Submissive. I am an intelligent, well-read, well-informed, woman of strength capable of rational thought. I know well enough that men still run the world and women are often our own worst enemies when it comes to power. I get ALL of that.

But I want to be Submissive. I want to ask my man, how can I make you happy? What do you need me to do for you? I want to be the one he relies upon to keep Him happy and his home well-taken care of. I want to give him power over me, a woman of strength, over to someone who equally enjoys being in possession of that power and control. I want a balance to exists between us that will create an intense intimacy generated from the high level of trust we must have for each other.

This I think defines me. This is who I am and I want to be. An independent and submissive woman.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Multi-Tasking Thursday

Unread BBMs, unanswered phone calls, Unopened emails and texts.... Crazy Thursday

I am being stretched.

Hey babe, my transaction didn't go through, can you call support?
Oh hi, I sent you an email, still waiting for reply.
Why the heck ain't you picking my calls?
Dear Rebirth, Don't forget, 6:30pm meeting tonight, be on time.
Send me credit please, busy and can't do it myself

*voices* *voices* *voices*

Why can't I be the one that needs all the help? I don't want to be the strong and go-to person again.
Wait, I don't know. I love helping people. I wan't to be the go to person. I don't know.

Maybe I am just acting out today because I am tired, sleep-deprived, mentally exhausted, hungry.


Maybe It's because I met a guy, He is crazy about me, he tells me, his friends tell me. He is my Mr Perfect. I like him too....more than I should at this point. I want to push him away. It's too early. I don't want him to like me. I don't want him to give me expectations. I don't want to get hurt. Maybe we should take it slow.

Why is love so complicated?

p-s: If you pray, help say a prayer for my friend. I hate Cancer. I hate Chemo. I love my friend and I love her strength.

Saturday, September 8, 2012


They say discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments. Explains why I'm yet to accomplish some goals I set for this year.

I was talking to an older friend last week, she brought up the issue of discipline. It hit me. I am very undisciplined. I start things and quit halfway. I set goals and forget about them.

Breakfast today, someone brought up the Cambridge diet. I said oh I want to try, my friend replied, you don't have the discipline. Ouch! People that see me for who I am.

Everyone sees that I lack a form of discipline. I want to prove them wrong.

RealSlim told me that discipline starts with things you can control. Best to sort it out internally before you attempt other things. I want to work on this weakness.

My biggest areas: Money, Fitness and Unfinished business.

I view money on a you only live once scale. What if I die today? I don't want to regret not spending money on myself. However do I really need that $1000 bag? Why not save more? Discipline to save.

After 3 weeks of Insanity, I lose the zeal to wake up an hour earlier than usual to work out. I make excuses. Discipline to keep exercising. Every little helps.

Project XYZ, first month of excitement, to do lists, plans, overall preparation. Lose the motivation and forget about it for another one year. Discipline to finish everything I start.

One step at a time. I need discipline. Started reading the book of Proverbs and seems it keeps emphasizing on Discipline.


I'm on the quest to reorder my private world so as to ensure the public one is fit to present. It starts with discipline.

In pursuit of a disciplined self.