Thursday, September 1, 2011

Fix you......

This week has been good in Blogosphere. On Monday, two writers whose views i respect a lot (and they follow me on twitter...woot woot!) dropped awesome posts that reminded me of my past.... Mr Spradley (aka Most) wrote on SBM on monday about emotionally unavailable men. It was epic, click on that link if you've not read it. I had to send it to some of my male friends to call their EUM asses out..... Then on wednesday, Max followed with her view.... another epic post. See why this week was amazing....

These two posts reminded me of my views on my post in my former blog in Dec 2008. (I have opened the blog so y'all can read it). I had just come out of a "situationship" (shout out to Kookie for that word) with an emotionally unavailable man and i had my Ha Ha moment.

In the last few years, i have realised that i am attracted to men that i clearly know won't lead in ex....
I know i am caring and i think i am pretty messed up in the sense that i tend to go for men that i feel like i can fix. I used to have this stupid notion that i can fix anyone and make him be what i want. It never worked and it will never work. Glad i am wiser now...

One thing that freaking pisses me off and Max also pointed out " if you really don’t want a woman to fall for you, don’t treat her like a princess. That doesn’t mean treat her like a servant, but treat her like a commoner. Good morning emails and good night text messages? Really? Why? So she can be under the impression that she’s the first thing you think of when you wake up and the last thing you think of when you go to sleep? All that’s doing is giving her an inflated sense of her importance in your life. And if she was all that important, you’d make her your girlfriend, wouldn’t you?"

If you don't want to take it further, stop being so fucking nice. You can create these boundaries and not send mixed signals but when you do shit like you are a boyfriend, then you know what, we fall for you men.....

Also Ladies, stop being too nice. I have been nice in the past, i'm still nice :) but i have done stupid things that if i mama heard, she'd have slapped the devil out of me....

Also, I am all for communication and letting your actions match your word, but my last ex, he did boyfriend shit, his actions meant boyfriend shit, but then his words turned around and said oh you know i said i was emotionally unavailable....all that B.S is for the birds....

Funny enough, Recently i met someone but his words were not matching his actions. Unlike the me before, i would have played Coldplay's Fix it and went in fully but i cut him off instantly, no more fixing anyone. No communication, no contact, nothing. I made him disappear. Go fix your ass before you come talk to me.

Even when we believe we can change people, it rarely happens. When a man says i am emotionally unavailable and so let's kick it, RUN! well except you are all for kicking it and no point in time will you want more. Heck i'm tired of reading subliminal tweets, facebook statuses and blogposts....when people tell or show you who they are, believe them.

If a lot of people could only listen, a lot of heartbreaks will be avoided.
I am done fixing people and the only time i want to play Coldplay's track is to gawk at the awesomeness that's called Chris Martin....other than that, if you need to be fixed, go check yourself into Rehab....


  1. Interesting post, I have never heard of the term "emotionally unavailable" before though I know what it means. And about trying to fix others, LoL--Havent we all been there?--heheh gone are those days mehn! Lol

  2. I hate when guys are so sweet and nice to me, and then i start falling for them only to realize that well, they were just being NICE! like dnt be treating me like i'm your princess if i'm not your princess lol
    Emotionall unavailable guys suck :(

  3. I think its up to the individual male or female to guard their heart. Like u said someone says he is unavailable, beat it, to me it means “ I don’t want anything serious with you” cuz that same unavailable one, meets “the one” in less than 6 months, and does right by her in all ways. Truth is that most guys out there are selfish people, who wants to eat their cake and have it. I have a friend that is in a serious relationship, infact he is getting married this Dec to a woman he has dated for three years. All through this three years till dates, he has always kept sidekicks. He tells these girls straight up that he has a girlfriend and he all he wants is a fling. They agree. Two months down the line, they want to be “the one”. This is a vicious circle I have seen repeat itself over and over again.

  4. Go fix your ass before you come talk to me. I LIKE THAT!

  5. I love love those sites!
    Lovely post!
    Most guys come with baggage these days. You really have to know what you want.

    Also, verysmartbrothas, blackgirlsareeasy(hilarity), themadscientist are also interesting sites.


  6. Awww I couldnt read ur post from 08 coz m not an invited reader :(


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