Monday, September 12, 2011

Don't make me....

Three days ago, a friend randomly asked me in between our back and forth business emails. "Why are you not in a relationship and don't tell me you are married to work and business?"

I am taking the year off dating.

No people don't take time off dating, he's can't be entirely single.

He's a guy. Men are never 100% single, they may not be in a relationship, but it's rare to find a very single guy. I had this conversation with my girlfriends while on vacation. It was Chioma's birthday. We went for an Italian early dinner, got drunk on red wine, moved to happy hour for 2 for 1 cocktails and went to see Lion King. We were kinda drunk, laughed through out the musical but had awesome conversations. Consensus was it was impossible for a man to be single. There's always one girl, maybe two or three somewhere with a situationship. I believe. Do you?

No wonder he doesn't believe women can be single.

I have met guys who want more. they want more attention, more hanging outs. I can't. They always want more. I don't have more to give. I tell them, i can't. They think i'm weird. Everywoman wants to date. No. Not me.

Hurt me a little to tell a decent dude to move past me. He should not fall in love with me. Reminds me of Birds pt 1. A track by The Weeknd.

So don’t you fall in love
Don’t make me make you fall in love
Don’t make me make you fall in love with a woman like me
Like me
Cuz boy I’m just a bird
I’m just another bird
Don’t make me make you fall in love with a woman like me
Like me

I am not ready to date. I don't want a man right now. I am enjoying being single. I don't lack male attention or conversation but that's where it ends. Nothing intimate. Nothing. The year off has put a lot of things in perspective. Sad i have a few months left. I should enjoy it to the fullest. I am enjoying it.


  1. And how would you define 'single' then?

  2. I think the guy probably thinks the same of ladies like you just said about men, lol. I actually think it is easier for men to be single than women. We almost always have chykers (vocal admirers) and it is our choice how far to take it. Men on the other hand, esp in naija, are single, till they decide to chyke a particular girl.

  3. i feel like you've just not met that one special guy that steals your breath away. When u do, trust me, u wont find being single so attractive :p

  4. @ TheRustGeek: In my opinion, being single means free from any baggage, no causal dating or stringing along, emotionally available and willing to commit if its the right person...but i find most guys have more than 2 women they are talking to at a time

    @Myne: You have a point but for women, i feel if we are not interested in the chykers, we don't lead them on in some cases.

    @Kitkat: :)

  5. I understand completely. I am emotionally unavailable. I know that if I get involve with someone right now...I will surely break his heart.

  6. Hmmmm.....*cues muzik* "It's Wande Coal"..LOL


I love reading from my readers :)