Thursday, August 4, 2011
Day 29........... Random Musings
My colleague walked up to me on Monday and said in his heavily thai-accented English “I went to gym today for 30 minutes”. Oh wow Chai, that’s good, but why are you telling me?
Well you’ve inspired me. I watch you go gym every morning now and you look slimmer and brighter”.
What the phuck is brighter? Wow, I guess that’s his way of saying I look good. They say if you want to get addicted to something, do it every day for 21 days. Today at the gym was my 22nd work out day, I’ve been going to the gym every morning from 6:15am- 7:30am. It was difficult to wake up early at first, considering the late nights I keep but I look forward to it now. Energy level has increased. I didn’t realize I was on the elliptical for 40mins on Monday till I looked at the time, wow, and I was at my highest speed. 600 calories burned baby.
Last night, got home late, tired and couldn’t wait to change into my PJs and settle to watch SUITS. I paused briefly in front of the mirror, liked what I saw and decided to stay there, I stripped naked, weighed myself, 4.5kg lighter since 4 weeks ago, waist looks slimmer, boobs perkier, thank God they have not reduced, I love my Ds, hence why I wear 2 sport bras at the gym, aint nothing tackier than boobs bouncing on the treadmill, oh! ass looks like it’s shaping up. I stood on my toes, arms up, elongated body, lawd I looked sexy…… jumped into the shower, put back the PJs, brought out a sexy black silk babydoll from Lasenza. Poured myself a glass of red wine and settled to watch SUITS. Speaking of SUITS, that’s the hottest new TV show right now, or maybe I’m biased because I love law dramas, when is the Good wife returning again?
My homegirl got engaged yesterday, it was her birthday, 30th birthday. Sad I missed it but mega excited for her. She met the guy last year, awesome guy. I’ve known her for 6 years; she inspires me and supports me. I remember we once talked, about being single….Will the right person come along? Dr Mike Murdock once said Some Received From God...The Gift of A Mate. Some Received From God...The Gift of Singleness. How do we know which we were given? I read a book a while ago, this powerful devoted woman of God, she’s popular, I don’t remember her name right now, she’s I think almost 50, never been married but very happy. That’s her calling. I don’t want to be single forever, I’d like a man. I like being dependent sometimes on men, not because I can’t do things myself, but it feels secure. The dating pool seems lame, I was chatting on bbm with a friend, who is in Nigeria for a summer internship from the US. She said there were no single men in Lagos, everyone she’s met is married, young married men who shower her with gifts and all they want to do is Fuck her. Why is this she asks? We agreed maybe boredom, greed, or the fact they rushed into marriage. I don’t know. She’s meant to find me a nerd, according to her, that’s the way to go. Fine swaggalicious boys bring no good. Am I doomed? I’m always attracted to fine men with swag.
A guy buzzed me at 3am three days ago? Why have you not responded to my question of us being together? LOL! I have no intentions of being with him, he’s shorter than me. I am not superficial, but I’m 5 ‘7’, I wanna rock 4inches Louboutins, I will feel uncomfortable doing that if I’m with him and besides I don’t want to deal with short man syndrome, jokes aside, I am not attracted to him emotionally. Another guy I would have considered, he has deep H factor. I am picky about the art of speaking and writing. I imagine if we are in a heated argument which will be inevitable as a couple, and he starts shouting in H factor (for those who don’t know what H-factor is, it’s when someone adds H to words that start with a vowel when talking, and doesn’t pronounce the H in words starting with H so he says- Hi want to Heat Han Happle- I want to eat an apple) I will throw him out. I can’t have make up sex with such. I have a friend, when he’s being stern with me or upset with me, he switches to proper American accented English, I find it very sexy, maybe I should let him get mad at me more often. Nothing sexier than a well spoken angry man.; we gonna be having that make up sex all night long. Yes please!
I made a list last week, of what I want in an ideal man, surprisingly, nothing physical was on it. I am growing. I will share sometime soon. I am nervous, in 20 days I open an online lingerie boutique. Did my finances a few days ago, I was surprised how much money I spent. Didn’t know i could afford it, I remember wishing I came from a wealthy family and had a dad who could set me up with the funds I needed to start. Glad I am doing this with just my money, no loan from the bank or any source. Deprived myself from a few personal indulgence, like that gorgeous Prada bag I’ve been lusting but I’m learning self control.
I should not buy everything I can afford. The last few days have been all wrong, I’ve had to cross so many hurdles and solve challenges and I get more convinced that God doesn’t give us what we can’t handle. I’m stronger. I miss God. I miss talking to him, been to church once in the last 4 months. I can’t seem to find a church here that I click with. I’m moving in 2 weeks again. I think the new town will be more beneficial church wise. I should listen to a Joyce Meyer podcast, I get blessed everytime I do.
My thoughts are all over the place, mind racing even when I’m asleep, it will explain the funny dreams I have been having in the last few weeks. Hoping for a peaceful night this weekend.