Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Just Because.......



I love flowers. They make me smile. I go on all sorts of flower delivery websites and just admire different arrangements and types.
I think they are one of God's best creation, well after my fabulous self :)

Hope these pictures make you smile and brighten your day as it did mine....





I don't like red roses, i never stop to admire them.... is that normal?
Thinking about it, Sadly, i have never been sent flowers by anyone just because....or not even on any occasion.., sucks right? The past men in my life, no matter how many times i hinted never took it serious.... Now taking applications for flower sending men.

I should probably stop at the grocery store on my way home after work and pick an arrangement for my self.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Sisterhood


Sometimes people hurt us, we confront them and they deny.....
I am growing, i try not to get upset most times because not everything matters, not everything is worth it but there are some days, some situations that make you reflect and wonder why? why? why?

You are good to someone, you open up to them, help them in time of their needs and then they turn back and hurt you, and instead of being courageous, they act cowardly and deny that they never hurt you..

Human beings are weird, women are weird and sometimes i wonder why women can't stand together and help each other....must we backstab, hurt and hate on our fellow women? What happened to sisterhood support?

It saddens me to agree that most times, we set back our own gender in this whole feminist and Miss Independent journey......

Saturday, August 27, 2011

....Musings....


My Life's a journey. And my destination is happiness. Discovering who I am. Finding my inner confidence. Feeling comfortable in my own skin. My imperfections are what make me, me. I'll show them off. I'll adorn my curves and accentuate my figure, flaunting it without shame. I will not dumb myself down to fit into a stereotype, neither will I apologise for my small successes. I'm a firm believer and will not be swayed by the material things in this world. I will work hard and follow my dreams and patiently wait to reap the fruits of my hardwork....

Life is a journey and I will not stop till I get to my destination.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Style Rebirth Online Lingerie Boutique launches in Lagos… “It’s not just lingerie, it’s a lifestyle”

(Yes i am promoting my new store shamelessly on my blog......hehehehehe.......no shame in my game....ok now i know some of you have blogs, so yes in my generous heart i give you permission, go ahead, copy the press release below and paste it...i know you love me...ok please you can join in the promote a new business game and help a sister out.....love y'all too..p:s- you are the first audience hearing about it...see i like to inform you guys first...too much love for y'all :) )




For the last 14 months, Style Rebirth has been hosting fabulous lingerie sale events in Lagos and Abuja tagged “Sexy et Fabuleux” and a lot of women have benefitted from this sale of quality, sexy and affordable lingerie. To ensure fellow Intimate Apparel Enthusiasts are given an opportunity to access these gorgeous pieces everyday, they have launched an online boutique filled with different types of lingerie of varying sizes from petite to plus size up to Bra Cup size K.

There is a vast array of Bras, panties, Babydolls, Chemises, Casual sleep wear, Swimwear, Shapewear etc. In addition various accessories are available include bridal party items, hen night and night headwraps, after all What’s the point of having sexy underwear and then turning heads off with your granny type hair nets and bonnets.



Products of high quality and customer satisfaction are the main focus. Also for shoppers, there are a wide range of payment options available including acceptance of all major credit and debit cards.

Go on and shop all these many items and more on www.stylerebirth.com
.
Also follow @stylerebirth on twitter for more information

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Life Changing Experience......

Note: It seems to be a long post..... :)

I moved to Nairobi six months ago for a work project and i was really excited not only because it was a very good opportunity (both career-growth wise and financially) but also because i get to visit places i have never been to and interact with a lot of people from different continents.

I got what i wished for. Never had i worked with such a diverse team. There were Indians, Malaysians, Taiwanese, Filipinos, Singaporeans, Nigerians, Somalians, Zimbabweans, Zambians, Kenyans, Ugandans, Ghanaians, Mozambicans, Ivorians, Australians, British, Canadians, Egyptians, South Koreans, Thais, Malawians and some other countries i can't even remember now. It was very diverse and everyone was different.

I learnt a lot of lessons. One important thing that stood out was Tolerance. Everyone is different, with all sorts of work ethics and behaviour. Different ways of writing, what i consider to be a hostile email, my colleague from India thinks it's the respectful way of addressing someone. The aggressive and raised voices of the Nigerian men which they deem acceptable and normal as a way of getting across their point, to the silent words of the Filipino, who looks so tiny like she can't hurt a fly. From the heavily accented English of the Thai who communicates better by emails or chatting, because no one can seem to understand his spoken words, to the playful Australian who plays angry birds in a meeting but still manages to contribute effectively to every point. The Indians who i really had a time getting along to because i didn't understand their work ethics stand but we ended up eating Chicken Masala together at dinner one time. Or is it the Ugandan who acts like he's drunk everytime you engage him in a conversation but still manages to give you the information you need on time. Oh how can i forget the Singaporean, my flatmate, we bonded so well and we learnt to respect each other's space, i learnt how to make Ba ku teh, and i taught her how to eat my extra spicy Jollof rice. The many multi-cultural dinners we had in the flats, oh the Thais are amazing cooks. I could totally move to Thailand just for food.

Ha! the Kenyans, as horrible as i find their meals which i only ate it twice in the whole six months, i felt their hospitality and kindness, eagerness to please the foreigners but the men can be quite leechy and unpretty. I learnt that Asians in general, speak their language more than English and stick together no matter what and look after their own before the consider outsiders. The Canadian taught me that maybe working so late ain't that bad as long as there is Pizza. I learnt from the Ghanaian that you can be lazy and still have a job. The Taiwanese taught me that spontaneity is the order of the day, which explains our sudden hill climbing trip. The Mozambican taught me that Portuguese is indeed a sexy language but the Ivorian topped it off with French.

I could go on and on about all i learnt but it made me grow. I became less impatient, i stopped jumping to conclusions and my adaptability increased. I saw the world through other people's views. I realised that not everyone speaks good English and no one seems to care. I grew personally also. It was a healing phase for me. The project came at the right time, when i needed to leave my familiar surroundings to get a clearer head and a fresh start. It healed me. I forged relationships i know will come in handy someday. I found out i am a direct person who isn't afraid to speak her mind, well everyone seemed to hint at that during the going away surprise dinner they had for me. I realised how strong i could be and how little things don't seem to bother me again. I loved and appreciated my friends more, the ones who always checked up on me and who i ranted and whined to when i felt lonely being away from home. The Skype calls, Facetime, phone calls, bbm chats.....all were so comforting.

I think everyone should experience leaving their familiar surroundings and go to new places and engage with other citizens of the world. It changes you. I am moving again to another country, to Ghana, still the same project but to work with another team for 9 months. It will be more challenging but i feel more prepared and well at least i will be closer to home.

I have an awesome weekend ahead, not only am i going on vacation, but my 'One that got away' is going to be home and we really do need to catch up. So drinks at the place we had our first date..... I call him my one that got away even though we never dated because he is someone that i really believe we could have had an amazing relationship. Nothing physical ever happened between us even though we started off as liking each other but Life happens and we didn't happen. Right now, our friendship is much more awesome and i am content with that. All platonic :)

So, ever been in a life changing experience? Do share

Have a great weekend.


Tuesday, August 9, 2011

On Kanye West and Jay Z......


Kanye West and Jay Z released an album less than 24hrs ago.
I was eagerly anticipating it. Watch the Throne. Got it as soon as I woke up. I've listened to it 3 times, I've a few faves but the album makes me feel uneasy. Maybe I've read too much posts from VigilantCitizen.com about the illuminati, symbols, interpretations e.t.c but I can't help but sense something dark about it.

It's a pretty good album, Frank Ocean whose music I love is featuref twice, and Don Jazzy produced one of the tracks ft Beyonce also. However, still can't help this dark feeling.
For example why was there 3 mins silence at the beginning of 'Illest mutherfucker alive'? I leave that to VigilantCitizen to figure out.
Actually, I can't wait to read what they have to say.

In other news, we need to pray for peace. What's going on in the world? This London riots are getting out of hand, as at time of this post, 225 youths have been arrested. God save us all.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Too much to ask?


As some of you may know, i have been single for a year and avoiding any serious dating but as i slowly peel away that shield and ready to maybe take baby steps in exploring the dating world, i started thinking of the kind of man i want to end up with. What will be ideal besides looks, or physical appearance? Well, His personality means much more to me. I believe no one should have to settle so here are a few of the qualities i pray for in my ideal man:

He must be or have: (use the appropriate)

1. A really good sense of humor, and likes to have fun……I can be childish sometimes, pillow fights and the likes. I once raced down the beach throwing sands at an ex on a getaway weekend

2. A respectful and loving relationship with both or either of his parents, except they are not alive. In that case, he must have an adult figure he looks up to.

3. Able to let me know he loves and display his love for me without any hesitation, I don’t mean excessive PDA

4. A music lover…… more than me. I appreciate music and want to grow musically

5. Emotionally available, able to commit. I am done with Emotionally unavailable men.

6. Financially responsible. I work hard for my own money, I am not looking for someone I can be dependent on financially but there are some things I will leave for him to take sole responsibility for. We have to be a solid team

7. Affectionate, Compassionate and Forgiving- I can’t stand people that bring issues of months ago after we’ve gone past it
Giving himself and other things: oh and Diamond is my birthstone ;)

8. Gainfully employed or run a business with a legit source of income

9. A strong and personal relationship with God. He must know God comes first and not just the 31st December church going type

10. Respectful of me, my boundaries and my values.

11. Sincere, Trustworthy and reliable.

12. Driven and Secure: Good self esteem, supportive. I want a man who will not have a problem with my desired success, passion or goals. I have big dreams and I want someone who will be proud of me

13. Socially confident but not extremely loud. Ability to hold a conversation.

I don't want to compromise on these things because I think I bring what i expect to the dating pool so I am within my rights to expect it.So help me God
Oh and it will be awesome if he could rock a clean white Tee shirt with blue jeans :)I am a huge sucker for a guy who can rock the white tee and denim and look like a million bucks....





Random thought: The funny thing is I think I know someone who fits in all these qualities but I dare not explore it. Que sera sera

Is my list realistic? Or am i asking to much? How about you guys, anyone got a list to share?

Friday, August 5, 2011

Day 30............ The Crazy Ones

It's day 30. I planned i was going to go all emotional and mushy on you guys, listing all i learnt in the last 30 days of writing, thanking you all for reading and wiping my imaginary tears of joy for completing this challenge.......

I had the perfect write up for today, went over it in my head last night, first time in a while that i thought about what to write before opening the new post page on the blog..... change of plans.

Had a conversation this morning with someone discussing plans and life and all that came to my head after was damn, this guy is CRAZY! So here's a toast to the crazy folks out there breaking barriers to do extra ordinary things.... God go make you bigger o!

Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them, disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They invent. They imagine. They heal. They explore. They create. They inspire. They push the human race forward. Maybe they have to be crazy. How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art? Or sit in silence and hear a song that's never been written? Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels? We make tools for these kinds of people. While some see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.

~ Steve Jobs


Have an amazing weekend everyone and thank you for reading the blog.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Day 29........... Random Musings


My colleague walked up to me on Monday and said in his heavily thai-accented English “I went to gym today for 30 minutes”. Oh wow Chai, that’s good, but why are you telling me?
Well you’ve inspired me. I watch you go gym every morning now and you look slimmer and brighter”.
What the phuck is brighter? Wow, I guess that’s his way of saying I look good. They say if you want to get addicted to something, do it every day for 21 days. Today at the gym was my 22nd work out day, I’ve been going to the gym every morning from 6:15am- 7:30am. It was difficult to wake up early at first, considering the late nights I keep but I look forward to it now. Energy level has increased. I didn’t realize I was on the elliptical for 40mins on Monday till I looked at the time, wow, and I was at my highest speed. 600 calories burned baby.

Last night, got home late, tired and couldn’t wait to change into my PJs and settle to watch SUITS. I paused briefly in front of the mirror, liked what I saw and decided to stay there, I stripped naked, weighed myself, 4.5kg lighter since 4 weeks ago, waist looks slimmer, boobs perkier, thank God they have not reduced, I love my Ds, hence why I wear 2 sport bras at the gym, aint nothing tackier than boobs bouncing on the treadmill, oh! ass looks like it’s shaping up. I stood on my toes, arms up, elongated body, lawd I looked sexy…… jumped into the shower, put back the PJs, brought out a sexy black silk babydoll from Lasenza. Poured myself a glass of red wine and settled to watch SUITS. Speaking of SUITS, that’s the hottest new TV show right now, or maybe I’m biased because I love law dramas, when is the Good wife returning again?

My homegirl got engaged yesterday, it was her birthday, 30th birthday. Sad I missed it but mega excited for her. She met the guy last year, awesome guy. I’ve known her for 6 years; she inspires me and supports me. I remember we once talked, about being single….Will the right person come along? Dr Mike Murdock once said Some Received From God...The Gift of A Mate. Some Received From God...The Gift of Singleness. How do we know which we were given? I read a book a while ago, this powerful devoted woman of God, she’s popular, I don’t remember her name right now, she’s I think almost 50, never been married but very happy. That’s her calling. I don’t want to be single forever, I’d like a man. I like being dependent sometimes on men, not because I can’t do things myself, but it feels secure. The dating pool seems lame, I was chatting on bbm with a friend, who is in Nigeria for a summer internship from the US. She said there were no single men in Lagos, everyone she’s met is married, young married men who shower her with gifts and all they want to do is Fuck her. Why is this she asks? We agreed maybe boredom, greed, or the fact they rushed into marriage. I don’t know. She’s meant to find me a nerd, according to her, that’s the way to go. Fine swaggalicious boys bring no good. Am I doomed? I’m always attracted to fine men with swag.

A guy buzzed me at 3am three days ago? Why have you not responded to my question of us being together? LOL! I have no intentions of being with him, he’s shorter than me. I am not superficial, but I’m 5 ‘7’, I wanna rock 4inches Louboutins, I will feel uncomfortable doing that if I’m with him and besides I don’t want to deal with short man syndrome, jokes aside, I am not attracted to him emotionally. Another guy I would have considered, he has deep H factor. I am picky about the art of speaking and writing. I imagine if we are in a heated argument which will be inevitable as a couple, and he starts shouting in H factor (for those who don’t know what H-factor is, it’s when someone adds H to words that start with a vowel when talking, and doesn’t pronounce the H in words starting with H so he says- Hi want to Heat Han Happle- I want to eat an apple) I will throw him out. I can’t have make up sex with such. I have a friend, when he’s being stern with me or upset with me, he switches to proper American accented English, I find it very sexy, maybe I should let him get mad at me more often. Nothing sexier than a well spoken angry man.; we gonna be having that make up sex all night long. Yes please!



I made a list last week, of what I want in an ideal man, surprisingly, nothing physical was on it. I am growing. I will share sometime soon. I am nervous, in 20 days I open an online lingerie boutique. Did my finances a few days ago, I was surprised how much money I spent. Didn’t know i could afford it, I remember wishing I came from a wealthy family and had a dad who could set me up with the funds I needed to start. Glad I am doing this with just my money, no loan from the bank or any source. Deprived myself from a few personal indulgence, like that gorgeous Prada bag I’ve been lusting but I’m learning self control.

I should not buy everything I can afford. The last few days have been all wrong, I’ve had to cross so many hurdles and solve challenges and I get more convinced that God doesn’t give us what we can’t handle. I’m stronger. I miss God. I miss talking to him, been to church once in the last 4 months. I can’t seem to find a church here that I click with. I’m moving in 2 weeks again. I think the new town will be more beneficial church wise. I should listen to a Joyce Meyer podcast, I get blessed everytime I do.
My thoughts are all over the place, mind racing even when I’m asleep, it will explain the funny dreams I have been having in the last few weeks. Hoping for a peaceful night this weekend.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Day 28........... That one person


Yesterday I was in a fix, I needed help. I had to complete a financial transaction before noon else I would be denied some access. I had the money, problem was I was far away. I thought about who to call, I went through my contact list. No I wasn’t going to call my friend Akin, he was ALWAYS helping me out without any complaint, in the last 3 weeks, he had made enough sacrifices for me, you would think he was the business owner. I didn’t have a choice, I called him but he didn’t pick…damn work meetings. The other person that popped into my mind, No I couldn’t bear to ask for his favour, we don’t talk again. Truth be told, I had no other person to ask after those two. People say I am proud, I would rather starve than ask for help, talk less of anything money-related. I can help or give people freely but I don’t know how to ask from others. Maybe experience taught me a bitter lesson. A few years ago, when I was going through a tough time, I need $100, to simply buy groceries before my cheque cleared the next day. I asked a friend I thought we were really cool. It turned into an insulting and embarrassing situation. Ever since I vowed to always help people, but never ask for financial help from anyone. This is bad! Real bad!

The other few friends that I maybe felt comfortable asking to help or would have considered out of desperation lived out of the country.. Since I moved back, I have learnt to rely on no one. Lagos is filled with people who take take take but the only thing they give back are excuses. We may talk, hang out but I will not ask you for a favor unless you volunteer…..being disappointed so many times taught me the hard way.
Even though it involved a mere 10,000naira (less than $90) and I was going to pay back as soon as I can find a way to send the money from here which will surely be latest the next day, it shouldn’t be a problem to ask right any of these people right? Hmmmn No.

Akin was still busy, I had not even talked to him and time was going, He wasn’t reading his BBMs or picking his call. I decided to call the other person. I was desperate but deep down I knew that despite all we had been through, if I was in a fix, he is one of the two people besides my family that will drop everything he was doing and help me. I was so sure of that. Even though we don’t talk, that conviction never changed. It’s not because of what we had in the past, or the fact that we used to date, afterall he wasn’t the only person I’ve dated, but I think it’s because of the way we defined our friendship and we created a bond that even if I hate him and he hates me, we will temporarily put aside those feelings and help each other in any way possible. I like when I feel comfortable like that. I have the same thing with my married friend Akin, even though the only physical thing we have shared in our over 6yrs of friendship is a hug, but he’s been there for me in many ways more than one. I wish I could have more friends like these, who I was 101% sure will come through for me. Who I don’t have to wish they could at least ask me how my plans are coming along once in a while without me saying anything. I have noticed that most times before I say anything to my friends, I hesitate and weigh it twice, well not with those two. Ok I digress.

I made that desperate call, no emotions, I said I needed help. He asked for details and told me he will get it done. No how are yous or let’s catch up?. I said thank you and we hung up. It lasted 32secs.

I let myself think about him after that call and I started laughing hard. It was the first time in many months that I thought about me, him, us, the past and now the future. I liked the way things were now. I genuinely forgave him and I realized at that every moment that I had completely let go. It was over. No feelings, no hurt, things were back to normal.

We may not talk again for 6 months or one year , who knows but that’s how best it works for us. Minimal communication. I know that 10yrs, 50yrs, 100yrs from now, he will always be someone I can ask for help. We all have that one person who is not involved in our lives but we are sure they will always come to our rescue when the need arises. We pass them on the street, no stopping to chit chat, just a smile as a hint of recognition but when we are arrested the next day and need bailing out; it’s their number we give out without a second thought because we know they will never give an excuse not to help.

Am I the only one that has a weird situation like this? What does this imply?

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Day 27............ Question




If a guy who is obviously not a douche-bag and who you know you like to an extent..... good looking, you know the whole physical attraction thing is there, you sometimes or say most times fantasise about smashing, casually says to you one day mid convo that he wants to have sex with you. Not in the non-flattering way of oh i just want to beat it but in the nicest way of "All i've ever wanted to do is fuck you". Will you be offended and feel disrespected? Or will you feel flattered?
Guys, this goes for you too....if it were the other way around?

We don't judge here and we tell it like it is so spill in the comments.......i wanna hear your point of view, yes including those of you that never comment..... ;)

P:S- The August edition of Sistaz Mag is out, head over to www.sistazmag.com to read the awesome articles in it

Monday, August 1, 2011

Day 26.....Maybe



...........Maybe i don't want to be strong today and i want to fall under pressure. Maybe i want attention and want to stop being the one giving it. Maybe i am tired of all the mixed signals and i don't want to have this silent crush on you again, heck we rarely even call each other that much. I doubt you will miss me once i quietly disappear from your life. Maybe i don't want to have to deal with pretending that everything is okay and i am not freaking out on the possibility of not meeting the deadline. Maybe i just want to pretend that nobody exists except me and i want to get lost in my bubble.......