Friday, July 22, 2011
Day 18........ To Friends
I was reading a post from @MaxFab about old friends this week and it struck a chord and inspired this vulnerability.
The past few weeks have been so overwhelming, I am doing a million and one things at a time, most of my dreams are being actualised. I have received phone calls, emails, tweets, bbms from well-wishers who keep saying they are proud of what I am doing right now, and words in that line. I am grateful but I can’t just help but also think that suddenly I am surrounded by this new amazing set of people I like a lot and who also really like me, who talk to me, who support me, and help me even in dire situations. There is just one thing; this group is pretty new. They don’t know who I used to be. My past and experiences that shaped me into this person I am now. They were not there a few years ago when I was sitting in that one bedroom apartment in the H wondering out loud if my life was really worth living. They had no idea of how my friend with over 15hrs time difference ahead of me will stay up with me on skype for hours, just talking. See none of them probably understands why my best friend decided to fly down to spend Christmas that year with me. None of them will ever know how I got through that particular month which till date remains the toughest in my life.
Talking about this is not to say I don’t appreciate my new friends, gosh! I love them so much. I have met some genuinely good-hearted people in this new phase and every day I thank God for them. But sometimes, they may not understand my mood swings or why I insist on making some decisions. I just wish I could explain some things to them, the reasons behind my being extremely emotional. You know there is always this comfort with old friends who you can spill everything to without thinking twice or having to explain because they were there. The people who can see behind all the façade and appearances. The ones that can tell me to quit being so strong. The ones that understand my love for long emails and letters more than phone calls. The ironic thing is some of these new friends are slowly turning to old friends, while the old friends are slowly drifting and are becoming a thing of the past. I am building new memories with my new friends, sharing with them my present and possibly the future. That is how life is……
However I am blessed that despite it all, old or new, they love and accept me for who I am, times I err, they call me out and I will not be who I am without all my friends.
Here’s to old and new friends, thank you for making me ME.